Boudreaux, out in his pasture in south Louisiana , takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow right in the crotch.
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said 'How bad is it Doc? . . . I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé, Bertha, is still a virgin - in every way.'
The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.'
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together . . . Quite an impressive work of art and engineering.
Boudreaux mentions none of this to Bertha, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Ville Platte.
That night in the motel room, Bertha slowly open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.
She said, 'You're da first, nobody has EVER seen deez.'
Boudreaux immediately drops his pants and replies,
'Look at dis, Bertha.......
..... ..still in DA CRATE!'